I-so horny: How to stay sexy in self-isolation

The last time I had sex was 7 weeks ago, and I don’t know with certainty when it will be happening again. Maybe you can relate? Your beard is getting out of hand, while your d*ck spends most of the time in your hand. If you’re single like me, isolation is probably leaving you sexually frustrated. No first kisses, no spontaneous car sex, and no whispering “your uber’s outside” into his ear when you want him to leave. 

This is a perfect time to take a few steps to ensure you can go out and get as much d*ck as possible when isolation ends.

1. Feel yourself in isolation

Lots of time at home = procrasturbation. Yes, that’s procrastination and masturbation together. But staying in bed and jacking off all day can make us very time-poor. Physical intimacy is off the table (or the couch, against the wall, etc.), we’re compensating with more porn consumption. PornHub’s free premium memberships aren’t helping, but don’t get carried away, or you’ll eventually need eighty tabs of porn open to get off. So mix it up! Buy a new sex-toy, order a new jockstrap, or try having phone-sex with one of the ten guys you’re sexting. You could always just do it the old-fashioned way and use your imagination.

2. Getting the D

Working and working-out from home becomes easier once you’ve developed a routine, but you’re getting a lot less of the D. Vitamin D. Understandably, impromptu Vitamin D is harder to come by when there’s fewer reasons to leave the house. A Vitamin D deficiency can cripple your libido, so stock up on some rays for the next time you’ll be getting out your lucky pre-date jockstrap. Isolation doesn’t have to mean ‘pale’.

Image provided by https://www.lovethispic.com/image/137385/

3. Attention: I need attention

A lot of us are reconnecting with our old hobbies, and some are discovering that one of these hobbies is attention – we aren’t getting as much as usual. But attention should be seen as a positive interaction, so enjoy it. Words of affirmation can boost confidence. My grindr profile states “here for compliments”, because sometimes we need to be reminded someone wants to feel you inside them. 

4.Take a load off

Casual encounters aren’t really a thing right now, so there’s more pressure to ‘make the most’ out of your isolation. Should you learn a new language, master calisthenics, or cook 6 meals a day like Martha-fucking-Stewart? Everyone’s snapchat stories are 40 hours long, and all of those guys that found your Instagram through Grindr are trying to thirst trap you. There’s a lot of potentials, but you don’t have to do all of them.

Remember –  you don’t have to be having sex to feel sexy.

References:

https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/883393/sex-best-supplements-libido-vitamin-d-symptoms-deficiency
https://www.lovethispic.com/image/137385/